Sadly, this is starting to feel relevant. Sometimes, I believe I work in a mashup of Dilbert and The IT crowd.
Preparing a dog and pony show
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The Tao of Twitter
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Hell is the Semantic Web
The Definition Of Hell For Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type:
ENFJ – Your loved ones are in dire need of guidance but every piece of advice you gives them inadvertently makes things worse for them.
ENFP – Every minute of the rest of your life has been scheduled for you – and it’s a long series of arbitrary, solitary tasks.
ENTJ – Somebody is wrong, and they’re directing a large group of people! You can’t do anything about it and will have to obey whatever inefficient policies they decide to implement
ENTP – Freedom of speech is revoked from the constitution. Voicing your opinion in any way is now illegal.
ESFJ – Someone you love is in dire need of practical help and you can’t give it to them. Worse yet, they think you’re refusing to help them out of pettiness and they’re mad at you.
ESFP – You are stuck in a room by yourself for the rest of eternity.
ESTJ – An incredibly impractical person is put in charge of all of your major life decisions. You have to do whatever they say and are powerless to argue or reason with them.
ESTP – You are completely paralyzed, lacking even the ability to speak.
INFJ – You are eternally damned to working for a morally corrupt company that aims to exploit the weak and generally degrade conditions for all of society.
INFP – Your deepest thoughts and feelings are exposed to a large audience and everyone thinks that you’re pathetic and unoriginal.
INTJ – Every time you open your mouth to say something intelligent, something entirely idiotic comes out instead.
INTP – You are eternally condemned to researching an extremely vapid topic using wildly inaccurate methods, mostly involving interviewing people who have no idea what they’re talking about.
ISFJ – Everyone you love is yelling at each other and it’s all your fault.
ISFP – You have to listen to rude people criticizing your personal choices, your appearance and your art form all day long. Nobody cares that they’re hurting your feelings.
ISTJ – You are expected to complete a highly esteemed project with absolutely no guidance as to what’s expected of you.
ISTP – The Zombie apocalypse happens but you’re suddenly the world’s weakest fighter and must depend solely on your loved ones to keep you alive.
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It’s a common though stream these days
Need to bone up on my forensic countermeasures…
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I can sympathize with Milton today
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Made me laugh
Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just… *do* things.
Also makes me think about work. For no reason. Whatsoever. I don’t have thoughts about severed break lines, or where to purchase polonium. Nuh uh, not me.
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Who needs *&@(#^$%(@ anger management?
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Fuck you, roaming charges!
I was in the UK for 5 days a couple of weeks ago. It cost me 70CHF in roaming charges. 12CHF for 120kb of data works out to 100CHF per mb (or 100,000CHF per gb).
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This! This is what I do every day!
There was a schism in 2007, when a sect advocating OpenOffice created a fork of Sunday.xlsx and maintained it independently for several months. The efforts to reconcile the conflicting schedules led to the reinvention, within the cells of the spreadsheet, of modern version control.
I have to make sense of the magical excel files that people send us.
Source: XKCD
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Climb every mountain!
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How to deal with people (sometimes)
Sometimes, it’s the only way. Even if it’s only in your head.
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The return of pigeon chess
Already more than two years ago, I stumbled across the concept of pigeon chess. Simply put, it comes from a quotation to the effect that “debating a (whoever) is like playing chess with a pigeon – it knocks over the pieces, shits on the board, then struts around and flies back to its flock to brag about how it won”
It’s still oh-so-relevant today.
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The Brexfactor media circus is done, now the cleanup begins
Before the vote:
Mood: Common sense will prevail, surely.
During the vote:
After the vote:
Mood: You bloody fucking idiots. What have you gone and done now…
Shares plunged and the pound plummeted to a 31-year low as panicked traders reacted to the UK’s vote to leave the EU and the prospect of recession amid months of market turmoil. The FTSE 100 tumbled 530 points, or 8.4%, within the first few minutes of trading. That mirrored sharp losses for the pound overnight as investors sold sterling on the back of growing worries about the UK’s economic outlook.
Expect action from the Bank of England to calm the markets. Having highlighted the risks of a leave vote, it will now be the job of BoE and the Treasury to show that they are in charge of events. That may be difficult in the short term, because while the overnight sell-off was in part the result of traders being caught with their trousers down, it was not the only factor. There were four other reasons for the dramatic reaction.
Firstly, Britain is facing a political crisis. It is hard to see how David Cameron can survive the referendum result. George Osborne threatened to deliver an austerity budget if the electorate refused to listen to his warnings. The chancellor is unlikely to be around for long enough to deliver it.
Secondly, Britain is facing a constitutional crisis. Scotland voted decisively for remain, while England outside of London voted for leave. It will not be long before the Scottish National party is demanding another referendum so that an independent Scotland would be able to stay in the European Union.
Thirdly, Britain’s vote has massive implications for Europe. It will embolden other separatist movements across the continent and could lead to other countries voting to leave. Clearly, there will also be consequences for the eurozone, which dodged a bullet last year when Greece remained within monetary union. Brexit will have far bigger consequences, so watch shares in Germany and France tumble on Friday. The pound will fall much further against the dollar than it will against the wounded euro.
Fourthly, Britain now has to decide what sort of arrangement it wants to have with the EU. Does it want to remain part of the single market even if that means accepting free movement of labour? Or does it want to go for a complete go-it-alone approach, which would give the new government a freer hand on immigration?
The result speaks volumes about the state of modern Britain. For the better off, a vote to remain was the obvious thing to do. For the less well-off, a vote to leave was their chance to protest about badly paid jobs, zero-hour contracts, bullying employers, and a sense that they had been forgotten.
These economic problems are deep-seated and of long-standing. Most of them have little to do with Europe. But the referendum has given millions of unhappy people a chance to protest. This is a country divided by wealth, geography and class.
Update: If things weren’t already bad enough, we now hear that Brexit has been endorsed by Fake-Tan-Howler-Monkey-In-Chief Trump as a yooooge thing:
He said: “I think it’s a great thing that happened, an amazing vote, very historic. We’re very happy.”
Asked why people voted for Brexit, he said: “People are angry. All over the world they’re angry.”
Asked if he took heart from the result for his own campaign, Mr Trump said: “We’re doing very well in the United States and essentially the same thing is happening in the United States. “They are angry over borders, they are angry over people coming into the country and taking over and nobody even noticing. They are angry about many, many things.”
In terms of what people were specifically to specify where people were angry, he said: “The UK, the US, many other places. It will not be the last.”
The billionaire mogul predicted the divisions caused by the referendum would “heal” and said it would bode well for his campaign. “You know I said this would happen. I think it is a great thing. We will see but I think it will be a great thing. Basically, they took their country back,” he said.
Update 2: At least the UK retains some of its sense of humour:
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Thank you for your compliance
No shenanigans today. Today is not a good day.
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We’ve gained the dubious award of dumbest voters
Across the United Kingdom on Friday, Britons mourned their long-cherished right to claim that Americans were significantly dumber than they are.
But, yesterday, British voters have done irreparable damage to the most enjoyable sport this nation has ever known: namely, treating Americans like idiots.
When our countrymen cast their votes yesterday, they didn’t realize they were destroying the most precious leisure activity this nation has ever known. Wankers.
In the face of this startling display of national idiocy, we can still muster some of the resilience for which the British people are known. We can hold out hope that, come November, Americans could become dumber than us once more.
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Dear Bitchface
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What is dumber?
A sack of hammers or a box of rocks?
Super Pedant-Man answered the question thusly:
I would say the box of rocks. Hammer is an upgrade from rock as a tool. However, not sure what is better: box or sack. Sack is possibly more versatile but less durable.
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WTF : Boris Johnson has called for a post-Brexit plan.
The same Boris Johnson who spear-headed the Leave campaign and then announced he would not run to lead the country through Brexit when it became apparent things might get a bit tricky.
The former Mayor of London outlined five points he thinks the next leader of the Conservative Party needs to consider when negotiating Brexit, just three days after ruling himself out as the man to do it.
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He’s my responsibility
One of my favourite quotes from Pawn Stars.
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The tao of cloud people
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